Introduction
Have you ever felt trapped in the pain of what someone did to you? I have. Holding onto resentment felt like the only way to make them pay. But the truth is, I was the one paying the price—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Maybe you’ve asked yourself:
• “How can I forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it?”
• “What if forgiving them means I look weak?”
• “How do I move on when the hurt still feels so real?”
If this sounds familiar, I want you to know: forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or letting them win. It means choosing yourself—choosing peace over pain. Today, I’ll share why forgiveness is the key to healing and how you can begin to let go of the weight that’s holding you back.
Why Forgiveness Feels Impossible
It’s hard to forgive when:
• You feel like they don’t deserve it.
• You’re still reliving the hurt every day.
• Holding onto anger feels like your only sense of control.
I once believed forgiveness was a sign of weakness—that if I forgave, it meant what they did didn’t matter. But the truth is, refusing to forgive didn’t hurt them—it hurt me. I was replaying the same pain on a loop, giving them space in my mind and heart they didn’t deserve.
Pain Point: Is holding on to resentment keeping you stuck in the past?
What Forgiveness Really Means (and Doesn’t Mean)
Let’s clear this up:
Forgiveness does not:
• Erase what happened.
• Excuse their behavior.
• Mean you have to let them back into your life.
Forgiveness does:
• Free you from the weight of resentment.
• Give you control over your healing.
• Allow you to move forward with peace and purpose.
Imagine this: You’re holding onto a burning coal, hoping it will hurt the person who wronged you. But you’re the one getting burned. Forgiveness is choosing to put the coal down—to stop carrying the hurt that’s holding you back.
The Power of Letting Go
When you forgive, you heal. Studies show that forgiveness can:
• Lower your stress and anxiety.
• Improve your physical and emotional well-being.
• Bring clarity and inner peace.
I remember the day I decided to write a letter to someone who hurt me deeply. I didn’t send it, but I let out years of pain I’d buried. By the time I finished, something shifted. I realized I didn’t need their apology to be free. Forgiving them wasn’t for them—it was for me.
Reflection: What could your life look like if you let go of the resentment you’ve been carrying?
Steps to Start Your Forgiveness Journey
Forgiveness doesn’t happen all at once—it happens one small step at a time:
1. Acknowledge the Hurt
Be honest about what happened and how it affected you. Avoid burying the pain.
2. Release Your Emotions Safely
Write it out in a journal, pray, or even talk to a trusted friend. Release the feelings you’ve been holding onto.
3. Set Boundaries if Needed
Forgiving someone doesn’t mean they get to hurt you again. Set healthy boundaries to protect your peace.
4. Shift Your Focus
Stop replaying the story of what they did. Focus on your healing instead of their actions.
Don’t Forget to Forgive Yourself
Here's a truth I learned the hard way: forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving others.
I spent years blaming myself for staying in situations I shouldn’t have, for trusting people who let me down, and for choices I couldn’t undo. But self-blame kept me stuck.
You are not your past mistakes. You are not your worst moments. You are worthy of grace and healing.
Conclusion
Forgiveness isn’t for them—it’s for you. It’s not about weakness; it’s about reclaiming your strength and stepping into freedom.
Ask Yourself:
• Who or what do you need to forgive today?
• What’s one small step you can take to begin letting go?
Take a moment right now to write down one hurt you’re ready to release. Even if you’re not ready to forgive fully, start the process. Your peace is worth it, and your healing is possible.
CM Columbus
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